TENNESSEE CONFERENCE REVIEW February 22, 2008
Articles in this special Miriam’s Promise edition of THE REVIEW
1 .Meet Miriam’s Promise.
2. Pregnancy Counseling Program.
3. Pregnancy Counseling Profile.
4. Expecting the Best-Prison Ministry Program.
5. From Scarlett-- My Story.6. Eliza Mae-An Adoptive Parents’ Story.
7. Older Child Adoptions.
8. International Adoptions.
9. Kevin, Laura and Anastasia-An International Love Story
10.Pasta & Promises 2008 to Benefit Miriam’s Promise.
11. Adoptive Parents Story.
12. Transracial Adoptions.
13. Sponsor a Therapy Session.
14. Therapeutic Supplies Needed, call for voluntary giving.
15. Training and Education are Keys to Successful.
16. Birth Mother’s Day Celebration.
17.Golf and Walk Challenge for Miriam’s Promise.
18.How You Can Help Miriam’s Promise , call for volunteers and volunteer giving.
Pregnancy Counseling Program
Tina was 24 with two young children and pregnant when she was evicted from her apartment. She learned that money she was giving her soon-to-be-ex husband was being used for drugs rather than paying rent. When she called Miriam’s Promise, her counselor went into action. Staff and volunteers rounded up household items and furniture from surrounding congregations and made sure Tina and her children had a safe place to live. She found a supportive environment at Miriam’s Promise that allowed her to explore decisions for her future, her unborn child and ways to care for her family. Tina eventually chose adoption for her newborn son, selected the adoptive family and stays in touch with them and her counselor at Miriam’s Promise.
Mary was referred to Miriam’s Promise after living in the state foster care system for years. The facility in which she was housed was closing, she was almost 18 and pregnant. Through the Elizabeth Project, a mentoring program at Miriam’s Promise, she found a church family. This young Mary was surrounded by loving and caring friends who welcomed her and her new child. Her mentors helped Mary find an apartment and to furnish it. They hosted a “Christmas in July” shower for her that provided for her apartment needs and for her baby. Miriam’s Promise mentors were there at the pre-natal visits and her baby’s birth. They celebrated together when Mary and her child were baptized.
Tina and Mary are just two of the many expectant mothers who contact Miriam’s Promise each year. Pregnancy clients come from all walks of life. Some are mature adults with careers, and others are pre-teens. Every client has a different set of circumstances, but all share the crisis of an unplanned pregnancy and uncertain future for themselves and their child. The pregnancy counseling program addresses emotional, health, financial and lifestyle issues. Counselors and clients tackle the everyday issues of pregnancy and parenting, including pre-natal care, living conditions, employment, family support and goals. Through careful examination and reflection, and with the help of Miriam’s Promise, crisis pregnancy clients can make mature life decisions for themselves and their child.
Pregnancy Counseling Profile
Marcy’s son Davy celebrates an important first birthday with his adoptive family.
Marcy was without even the basic resources a single woman needs to feel cared for and self-sufficient. She was living in a half-way house in a very unsafe neighborhood because it was the first place with an opening and she’d just been released from prison. She called Miriam’s Promise looking for support and guidance, Marcy was six months pregnant. She was fairly sure adoption would be the best way to ensure her child a bright and secure future, but there were more pressing concerns to address before she could emotionally commit to an adoption plan. Over the course of a month, Miriam’s Promise helped her find safe housing, provided her transportation to her pre-natal appointments, gave her assistance with groceries, maternity clothes and peace of mind. Peace of mind that no matter what her decision, adoption or parenting, there was a caring, compassionate and non-judgmental place she could turn to for even the most basic of human needs could be met.
Expecting the Best-Prison Ministry Program
By Lee Ann Higgins, MSSW
On any given day, up to 600 women are housed in the Davidson County Correctional Facility. On average, 15-20 of them are expectant mothers. While medical care is available, the county does not provide any pregnancy counseling or mentoring services.
In late 2005, Miriam's Promise received a request for help from an incarcerated woman. Staff member Lee Ann Higgins responded and provided counseling. Through that relationship, it became apparent that the women's jail had an ongoing need for pregnancy counseling. Lee Ann designed an eight-week curriculum that targeted the unique needs of these women and in January of 2007 she began Expecting the Best, a pilot counseling program for pregnant women in the Davidson County jail. Today, the weekly group meetings regularly draw a group of 7 or 8 women.
"Miriam's Promise is the only entity that currently offers this type of program to women in jail," says Lee Ann. "These expectant mothers have commonly experienced domestic violence, alcohol or drug abuse and dependency, have been arrested and jailed before and have other children. They are not only facing the consequences of the judicial system, but are also ill-prepared to manage the stress of incarceration, pregnancy and re-entry all at the same time." Accordingly, the classes cover topics such as responsible decision making, family planning and life skills.
When clients are released from jail, Miriam's Promise continues to offer parenting or post-adoption support services. "It is vital," says Lee Ann, "that these women establish a support system in their community. We hope that ongoing support and follow-up by Miriam's Promise can assure a safe and healthy lifestyle for both Mom and baby."
In the future, Lee Ann would like to see Expecting the Best expanded to include incarcerated women in other counties. She also has a vision for establishing a volunteer mentoring program. "By establishing a presence in the prison system, Miriam's Promise can offer its services to an often neglected group of women and hopefully equip them for a fresh start. I also believe that establishing a one-on-one volunteer mentoring program could make all the difference as these women leave the prison system and re-enter society."
From Scarlett-- My Story
I was arrested on New Year’s Eve 2005. During the processing medical exam, it was discovered that I was pregnant – about 3 months. I was in total shock. I’d been a regular user of crack, not taking very good care of my health, smoking, etc. After a couple of months of pretending it wasn’t true, I realized I needed to look for a stable and sensible solution. The baby’s biological father was out of my life. My ex-husband was supportive of me but would never raise this baby for me or with me. My plans were very incomplete for raising my child.
I wrote five letters but didn’t have stamps so my weekend-time roommate mailed my letters to agencies in which I outlined my situation, what I needed and how to contact me. Miriam’s Promise was the first and only one to visit me in person and that made an immediate impression. It told me I would be treated with respect and without prejudice due to my incarceration. I wanted someone who would treat me like a person.
My counselor, Lee-Ann walked with me through the decision-making process, and never once denied me the option of parenting and helped me look at all the ways that could happen. She did all she could to deliver the same type of services to me she would to any other client. She made sure I finally got the medical care I needed, was with me in the hospital and helped to make sure I could deliver like anyone else, without being chained or shackled.
I now get pictures and letters from Ike and Vicki, the adoptive family. I also have the peace of mind that my decision was and always will be honored and that I am not alone.
Jail is a lonely place, hopeless and anonymous. This type of service replaces those feelings with someone to care about you and your situation, replaces it with hope and being seen for who you are, not for the crime you committed or are accused of.
I want to say how much I appreciate the respect and dignity I have been shown from Miriam’s Promise and Lee-Ann. I haven’t got that from many people since being here in jail; not to say I expected different treatment because of the baby. I am in jail for a reason.
I want to share that I am proud of myself for not taking the easiest path in spite of my need not to hurt. My baby needed more than a temporary foster home and time spent waiting for me. Miriam’s Promise was there for me when no one else was. Lee-Ann responded to my letter. She visited me and really listened to me. Miriam’s Promise met many of my material needs. Lee-Ann was able to be right there with me in the hospital and has continued to stay in touch and to visit. She’s held on to my personal belongings for me, especially the keepsakes from the hospital and the gifts from Ike and Vicki, my son’s mom and dad.
In the future, I want to become involved with Miriam’s Promise as a mentor for other pregnant inmates. I know it made a real difference for me and in how I handled my decision to place my son. Lee-Ann continues to make a difference since then and to be a link to the world but especially to my son.
I have every confidence that Miriam’s Promise and the adoptive family will keep their promises to me; promises for openness and for honesty in the exchange of information and for ongoing services I may need.
Eliza Mae--An Adoptive Parents’ Story
As I sit down to try and put into words how the miracle of adoption has touched our family, I wonder where to begin. My seven month old daughter, Eliza Mae, is rolling around on the floor at this moment, babbling incessantly and pulling at her little toes. She has a head full of dark hair, and her giggles are contagious. Though she has been in our arms just over three months now, she was in our hearts before she was even conceived in her birth mother’s womb in Vietnam.
My husband and I were married in May of 2002, and we had our first child in December of 2004. When he was around seven months old, we decided to try and become pregnant again. However, it wasn’t long until thoughts of adoption began rattling around in our minds.
Each family comes to its decision to adopt in a different way. For some, it follows on the painful heels of infertility. Others make the choice to fulfill a lifelong dream. And, for other families, including ours, it is an act of faith and a willingness to watch God unfold a beautiful plan. So it was that a few months into our efforts to become pregnant, we decided to put things on hold, and see what God might have in store.
At this time we began researching adoption. We also began praying about this decision, and on Valentine’s Day of 2006, we officially began our adoption “journey.” We chose an agency that is out of state, so we contacted Miriam’s Promise in Nashville to conduct our home study. After it was completed, along with the mounds of other forms required for an international adoption, our paperwork was submitted to Vietnam and the long wait began.
There were days, weeks, and months when it felt like the phone call would never arrive. I have thought many times about this wait. I so wanted to get to the end of it and not look back with regret. I wanted God to find me faithful in the waiting, and not constantly impatient. There were times of failure in this area, for sure, but I never lost faith in the belief that He was in control. For every tear that I cried waiting and praying for Eliza to get here, I was never able to escape a deep-down knowing that He had already foreseen every detail of the “timeline” of her life (*Psalm 139).
Finally, on September 27th, 2007, our agency called to tell us that our daughter was waiting for us in the Nam Dinh Province of northern Vietnam. One month later we boarded a plane. We sometimes call Eliza our holiday baby, because she was placed in our arms for the very first time on Halloween, and we arrived back home in Nashville early on Thanksgiving morning.
Adoption has added new dimensions to our family’s life, love, and faith. It is clear to us now that there was always a space meant just for Eliza. Watching her eyes dance as she plays, we know she is truly home.
*If you would like to read more about our travels to bring Eliza home, please visit our blog at http://www.lovetoelly.blogspot.com/
Older Child Adoptions
By Allison Balthrop, MSSW
In the last 5 years Miriam’s Promise has placed 18 “older children” in adoptive homes. These children’s ages range from 2 to 13 years of age. (Older child adoption is defined as the placement for adoption of a child over the age of 12 months.) Additionally Miriam’s Promise assisted in the independent adoption of 14 older children whose ages ranged from 14 months to 14 years.
Recognizing the importance of preparing our families for the unique challenges of raising older adopted children, in 2006 Miriam’s Promise expanded the education curriculum offered to our clients. However, before new curriculums could be designed it was necessary for staff to receive intensive training in such areas as attachment and child development. (Staff training opportunities were made possible in large part because of the generous donations made by members of our board.)
Miriam’s Promise offers extensive educational opportunities to adoptive and prospective adoptive families each year. Our attachment training program begins with a 4 week seminar on “Rebuilding Attachment in Traumatized Children” followed by bi-monthly support group meetings. Topics covered in these groups include: helping children cope with separation and loss, positive discipline, anger management, and specific interventions to promote attachment. Furthermore, the groups provide parents an opportunity not only to gain insight and support from trained staff but also to learn from the experiences of their peers. Simply being part of a group of parents who truly understand the challenges they face is therapeutic for the participants.
Counseling services are another important part of our Older Child Adoption Program. Individual and family counseling is offered to children and their families who need intensive therapy to build attachment. Fees for this service are based on a sliding scale in an effort to make the services available to all who are in need. Typically the adults are seen for an intake/assessment interview. During that interview it will be determined whether the child will be seen individually or with the parents. Play therapy is the primary intervention used with young children.
The staff at Miriam’s Promise is always committed to providing the best services to all clients, but especially to the most vulnerable of our clients, the older adopted child. Although we are a non-profit agency and resources are limited, no effort is spared to ensure that staff is well trained and capable of delivering the highest quality services possible.
International Adoptions
By Kim Warner Hudy, MSSW
Today, more and more families who come to adoption feel that their child is waiting for them overseas or may already have a special connection to a specific foreign country. Miriam’s Promise has been pleased to assist these families who choose to adopt internationally.
Caseworkers meet with prospective adoptive families to discuss the adoption and home study process. While there are many countries to choose from when adopting internationally, we also assist families in exploring their options for the best fit. Miriam’s Promise provides home study and post placement services to families in middle Tennessee. While we are pleased to have partner agencies that we work with for the actual referral and placement of a child, a family is not limited to only these agencies and has the option to work with any placing agency. We are also proud to be a member of the Joint Council on International Children’s Services aka JCICS which holds its members to higher ethical and educational standards than other adoption agencies.
Ayana, one of a growing number of children adopted internationally
Miriam’s Promise was proud to be the first adoption agency in our service area that implemented home study education and training for prospective adoptive parents. This training component occurs in a group setting and is a critical part of understanding the adoption process in order to fully prepare to welcome a child into their hearts and homes. The twelve hour course is offered over the course of a few weeks and covers such topics as the history of adoption, the adoption triad, potential attachment issues, transracial, and transcultural issues, adjustment, diversity, grief and loss and developmental issues to meet a child’s needs. Families also have the opportunity to meet with a family who has recently adopted as well as an international adult adoptee. It is a wonderful way for our clients to meet other families who are also adopting and form support systems from the very beginning of the adoption process.
Over the years we have placed children of all ages and races that include children with both medical needs and children who are considered to be healthy infants in their respective countries. Our caseworkers continue to support our clients throughout their adoption process and beyond the required supervisory reports after placement occurs. We are happy to assist when questions or concerns arise and enjoy hearing from our families year after year as adoption is not just a one-time event but a lifelong process. Many of our adoptive families come back to us for assistance in completing a second adoption. Some of our highest compliments come from clients who tell us their friends worked with us when they were adopting. What a wonderful gift to be a small part of building families for life.
Kevin, Laura and Anastasia-An International Love Story
Once upon a time there was a baby girl born in a Russian prison. Her name was Anastasia. With her birth mother, Anastasia spent the first three years of her life virtually in solitary confinement. Upon her mother’s release, she was abandoned at a Russian orphanage. At age 6, Ana came to the United States through adoption by a New Jersey family who were unprepared for the challenges of raising a child dealing with attachment issues and cultural changes. After 3 months, the New Jersey family told Ana she was going to a temporary “camp” when in reality she was sent to a permanent residential facility. Anastasia was abandoned for a second time.
Meanwhile, Kevin and Laura, a Tennessee couple who wanted to adopt, met Ana at the residential facility. Immediately captivated by the child, Kevin and Laura opened their hearts and began the process of bringing Anastasia to Tennessee and adopting her. Anastasia is now eight years old and continues to adjust to her new family. Through Miriam’s Promise, Kevin and Laura received adoption assistance funding and now participate in ongoing therapy to aid in attachment and adjustment for the entire family.
Pasta & Promises 2008 to Benefit Miriam’s Promise
Art pieces by well-known regional artists are available for sale at Pasta & Promises
You are invited to Pasta & Promises, the annual fundraising dinner and art show benefiting Miriam’s Promise on Friday night, March 28, 2008 at 6:00 pm at the Factory in Franklin. This annual event supports the pregnancy, parenting and adoption services provided by Miriam’s Promise, a not-for-profit agency affiliated with the Tennessee Conference of the United Methodist Church. Pasta & Promises 2008 will again feature the very popular live and silent auction of original pieces by regional artists along with a delicious pasta dinner. Individual tickets are $100, or gather several friends together and reserve a table for eight for just $600. If your company would like to support the event as a sponsor, contact Miriam’s Promise for details on corporate sponsorship opportunities. Last year’s event drew over 400 people, so make your reservation now and don’t miss Pasta & Promises. Contact Miriam’s Promise at (615) 292-3500.
Adoptive Parents Story
Miriam’s Promise continues to be blessed with many wonderful volunteers who give their time, talents, and gifts to the agency. Many United Methodist congregations designate Communion offerings and special collections for the work of Miriam’s Promise in Middle Tennessee. A monetary donation of any amount would assist in purchasing necessary tools for our work with children.
Many United Methodists offer the gift of their service to Miriam’s Promise. Recently, a group of Girl Scouts from a Franklin church refurbished the children’s area in our office with a new television and toys and provided games and activities at our annual picnic. Many churches make winter hats and scarves for our clients, and several United Methodists volunteer in our offices regularly.
Miriam’s Promise is always in need of the following items. Please call 615-292-3500 with questions.
Biggest Needs:
.Kroger and Wal-Mart gift cards, Gas cards, ($5, $10, $25) for our birthmothers
.Diapers and wipes - Newborn to size 4
.Certificates to Book stores (i.e., Barnes & Noble) to order educational material
.Disposable cameras
Infant Needs:
.Crib Sheets / Blankets
.Baby formula/bottles or gift cards to purchase as needed
.Baby toiletries
.Baby clothing – size Premie to 24 months
1 .Meet Miriam’s Promise.
2. Pregnancy Counseling Program.
3. Pregnancy Counseling Profile.
4. Expecting the Best-Prison Ministry Program.
5. From Scarlett-- My Story.6. Eliza Mae-An Adoptive Parents’ Story.
7. Older Child Adoptions.
8. International Adoptions.
9. Kevin, Laura and Anastasia-An International Love Story
10.Pasta & Promises 2008 to Benefit Miriam’s Promise.
11. Adoptive Parents Story.
12. Transracial Adoptions.
13. Sponsor a Therapy Session.
14. Therapeutic Supplies Needed, call for voluntary giving.
15. Training and Education are Keys to Successful.
16. Birth Mother’s Day Celebration.
17.Golf and Walk Challenge for Miriam’s Promise.
18.How You Can Help Miriam’s Promise , call for volunteers and volunteer giving.
----------------------------------------------------------------
Meet Miriam’s Promise
By Debbie Sims
Photo #1, caption: Bishop Wills relates to adopted children who were part of the Miriam’s Promise report to the 2007 Tennessee Annual Conference
Located in Nashville’s historic Tulip Street United Methodist Church on Russell Street, Miriam’s Promise was established in 1985 by the Tennessee Annual Conference to provide pregnancy, parenting and adoptions services. Originally intended to be a small satellite office of Holston United Methodist Home for Children of Greeneville, Tennessee, Miriam’s Promise quickly grew in response to the need for services. In 2003, Holston scaled back its operations to concentrate in east Tennessee and Miriam’s Promise became an independent not-for-profit agency.
Inspired by the biblical story of Moses’ sister Miriam, Miriam’s Promise provides a safe place for women who must make difficult decisions about the future of their children. The story from Exodus 2:1-10 is one of hope and inspiration. The new pharaoh of Egypt became alarmed at the growing number of Israelites in his country and was worried that they might side with Egypt’s enemies. He ordered the Hebrew midwives to kill all the baby boys they delivered. The midwives, however, feared God and did not follow the pharaoh’s orders. The pharaoh then commanded all his people, “Every boy that is born to the Hebrews you shall throw into the Nile.”
Facing the infanticide of all male children of the Hebrew slaves in Egypt, Moses’ mother, an Israelite woman, made a plan to save the life of her son. Placing him in a basket, she hid him in the Nile and sent his sister Miriam to watch and see what happened. The pharaoh’s daughter discovered him along the river and decided to adopt him as her own son. Miriam stepped forward and offered their mother’s services as a wet nurse for the baby. And so, through a birthmother’s loving choice, a sister’s brave advocacy, and an adoptive mother’s acceptance, this tiny baby, a child of God, grew to become the leader of his people. Like Miriam, the agency provides a safe place for women who must make difficult decisions about the future of their children.
Adoptive mom Claudia feeds Tank, her son. Miriam’s Promise was involved in this transracial adoption.
For women experiencing unplanned pregnancies, Miriam’s Promise provides counseling. As a safe, non-threatening, friendly place to go, Miriam’s Promise is a haven for women suffering the emotional, health and long-term issues that accompany many unplanned pregnancies. Staff members are trained to help with all major decisions, provide referrals and assistance for basic healthcare and nutrition, and create safe living environments‑always with the well-being of the unborn child and mother as the foremost goal.
Many hours are spent in consultation with each mother-to-be about their futures and their wants and desires for their children. For those who choose to parent, the agency sets practical goals for housing and other necessities, working with the client throughout the pregnancy and maintains a relationship after the birth. For those who choose adoption for their child, Miriam’s Promise provides counseling services, open adoptions where the birth mother chooses and is involved with the adoptive parents, or a closed adoption plan.
Families and children enjoy the annual Miriam’s Promise Picnic
Adoption services at Miriam’s Promise center on the creation of families. The agency provides screening and counseling for prospective parents, known as “waiting families.” In domestic infant adoptions, expectant mothers are able to learn about the different waiting families and make specific choices for the placement of their child. Many lasting, loving relationships are formed as mothers and adoptive parents bond over the shared love of a child. Miriam’s Promise also provides international adoption services for waiting families, and has placed children of all ages from several countries. All adoptive parents receive counseling, home study education and training on adoption issues, and on-going support after the placement is made. Post-adoption services for families include on-going counseling, attachment therapy, and family support groups.
By Debbie Sims
Photo #1, caption: Bishop Wills relates to adopted children who were part of the Miriam’s Promise report to the 2007 Tennessee Annual Conference
Located in Nashville’s historic Tulip Street United Methodist Church on Russell Street, Miriam’s Promise was established in 1985 by the Tennessee Annual Conference to provide pregnancy, parenting and adoptions services. Originally intended to be a small satellite office of Holston United Methodist Home for Children of Greeneville, Tennessee, Miriam’s Promise quickly grew in response to the need for services. In 2003, Holston scaled back its operations to concentrate in east Tennessee and Miriam’s Promise became an independent not-for-profit agency.
Inspired by the biblical story of Moses’ sister Miriam, Miriam’s Promise provides a safe place for women who must make difficult decisions about the future of their children. The story from Exodus 2:1-10 is one of hope and inspiration. The new pharaoh of Egypt became alarmed at the growing number of Israelites in his country and was worried that they might side with Egypt’s enemies. He ordered the Hebrew midwives to kill all the baby boys they delivered. The midwives, however, feared God and did not follow the pharaoh’s orders. The pharaoh then commanded all his people, “Every boy that is born to the Hebrews you shall throw into the Nile.”
Facing the infanticide of all male children of the Hebrew slaves in Egypt, Moses’ mother, an Israelite woman, made a plan to save the life of her son. Placing him in a basket, she hid him in the Nile and sent his sister Miriam to watch and see what happened. The pharaoh’s daughter discovered him along the river and decided to adopt him as her own son. Miriam stepped forward and offered their mother’s services as a wet nurse for the baby. And so, through a birthmother’s loving choice, a sister’s brave advocacy, and an adoptive mother’s acceptance, this tiny baby, a child of God, grew to become the leader of his people. Like Miriam, the agency provides a safe place for women who must make difficult decisions about the future of their children.
Adoptive mom Claudia feeds Tank, her son. Miriam’s Promise was involved in this transracial adoption.
For women experiencing unplanned pregnancies, Miriam’s Promise provides counseling. As a safe, non-threatening, friendly place to go, Miriam’s Promise is a haven for women suffering the emotional, health and long-term issues that accompany many unplanned pregnancies. Staff members are trained to help with all major decisions, provide referrals and assistance for basic healthcare and nutrition, and create safe living environments‑always with the well-being of the unborn child and mother as the foremost goal.
Many hours are spent in consultation with each mother-to-be about their futures and their wants and desires for their children. For those who choose to parent, the agency sets practical goals for housing and other necessities, working with the client throughout the pregnancy and maintains a relationship after the birth. For those who choose adoption for their child, Miriam’s Promise provides counseling services, open adoptions where the birth mother chooses and is involved with the adoptive parents, or a closed adoption plan.
Families and children enjoy the annual Miriam’s Promise Picnic
Adoption services at Miriam’s Promise center on the creation of families. The agency provides screening and counseling for prospective parents, known as “waiting families.” In domestic infant adoptions, expectant mothers are able to learn about the different waiting families and make specific choices for the placement of their child. Many lasting, loving relationships are formed as mothers and adoptive parents bond over the shared love of a child. Miriam’s Promise also provides international adoption services for waiting families, and has placed children of all ages from several countries. All adoptive parents receive counseling, home study education and training on adoption issues, and on-going support after the placement is made. Post-adoption services for families include on-going counseling, attachment therapy, and family support groups.
A very happy dad with his adopted daughter.
Miriam’s Promise extends the promise of hope and healing to birth parents, pregnancy clients, adoptive families, and children, fulfilling our belief as United Methodists that the family is a crucial element in the nurturing of children, and that children are a gift from God, to be welcomed and received.
Pregnancy Counseling Program
Tina was 24 with two young children and pregnant when she was evicted from her apartment. She learned that money she was giving her soon-to-be-ex husband was being used for drugs rather than paying rent. When she called Miriam’s Promise, her counselor went into action. Staff and volunteers rounded up household items and furniture from surrounding congregations and made sure Tina and her children had a safe place to live. She found a supportive environment at Miriam’s Promise that allowed her to explore decisions for her future, her unborn child and ways to care for her family. Tina eventually chose adoption for her newborn son, selected the adoptive family and stays in touch with them and her counselor at Miriam’s Promise.
Mary was referred to Miriam’s Promise after living in the state foster care system for years. The facility in which she was housed was closing, she was almost 18 and pregnant. Through the Elizabeth Project, a mentoring program at Miriam’s Promise, she found a church family. This young Mary was surrounded by loving and caring friends who welcomed her and her new child. Her mentors helped Mary find an apartment and to furnish it. They hosted a “Christmas in July” shower for her that provided for her apartment needs and for her baby. Miriam’s Promise mentors were there at the pre-natal visits and her baby’s birth. They celebrated together when Mary and her child were baptized.
Tina and Mary are just two of the many expectant mothers who contact Miriam’s Promise each year. Pregnancy clients come from all walks of life. Some are mature adults with careers, and others are pre-teens. Every client has a different set of circumstances, but all share the crisis of an unplanned pregnancy and uncertain future for themselves and their child. The pregnancy counseling program addresses emotional, health, financial and lifestyle issues. Counselors and clients tackle the everyday issues of pregnancy and parenting, including pre-natal care, living conditions, employment, family support and goals. Through careful examination and reflection, and with the help of Miriam’s Promise, crisis pregnancy clients can make mature life decisions for themselves and their child.
Pregnancy Counseling Profile
Marcy’s son Davy celebrates an important first birthday with his adoptive family.
Marcy was without even the basic resources a single woman needs to feel cared for and self-sufficient. She was living in a half-way house in a very unsafe neighborhood because it was the first place with an opening and she’d just been released from prison. She called Miriam’s Promise looking for support and guidance, Marcy was six months pregnant. She was fairly sure adoption would be the best way to ensure her child a bright and secure future, but there were more pressing concerns to address before she could emotionally commit to an adoption plan. Over the course of a month, Miriam’s Promise helped her find safe housing, provided her transportation to her pre-natal appointments, gave her assistance with groceries, maternity clothes and peace of mind. Peace of mind that no matter what her decision, adoption or parenting, there was a caring, compassionate and non-judgmental place she could turn to for even the most basic of human needs could be met.
Expecting the Best-Prison Ministry Program
By Lee Ann Higgins, MSSW
On any given day, up to 600 women are housed in the Davidson County Correctional Facility. On average, 15-20 of them are expectant mothers. While medical care is available, the county does not provide any pregnancy counseling or mentoring services.
In late 2005, Miriam's Promise received a request for help from an incarcerated woman. Staff member Lee Ann Higgins responded and provided counseling. Through that relationship, it became apparent that the women's jail had an ongoing need for pregnancy counseling. Lee Ann designed an eight-week curriculum that targeted the unique needs of these women and in January of 2007 she began Expecting the Best, a pilot counseling program for pregnant women in the Davidson County jail. Today, the weekly group meetings regularly draw a group of 7 or 8 women.
"Miriam's Promise is the only entity that currently offers this type of program to women in jail," says Lee Ann. "These expectant mothers have commonly experienced domestic violence, alcohol or drug abuse and dependency, have been arrested and jailed before and have other children. They are not only facing the consequences of the judicial system, but are also ill-prepared to manage the stress of incarceration, pregnancy and re-entry all at the same time." Accordingly, the classes cover topics such as responsible decision making, family planning and life skills.
When clients are released from jail, Miriam's Promise continues to offer parenting or post-adoption support services. "It is vital," says Lee Ann, "that these women establish a support system in their community. We hope that ongoing support and follow-up by Miriam's Promise can assure a safe and healthy lifestyle for both Mom and baby."
In the future, Lee Ann would like to see Expecting the Best expanded to include incarcerated women in other counties. She also has a vision for establishing a volunteer mentoring program. "By establishing a presence in the prison system, Miriam's Promise can offer its services to an often neglected group of women and hopefully equip them for a fresh start. I also believe that establishing a one-on-one volunteer mentoring program could make all the difference as these women leave the prison system and re-enter society."
From Scarlett-- My Story
I was arrested on New Year’s Eve 2005. During the processing medical exam, it was discovered that I was pregnant – about 3 months. I was in total shock. I’d been a regular user of crack, not taking very good care of my health, smoking, etc. After a couple of months of pretending it wasn’t true, I realized I needed to look for a stable and sensible solution. The baby’s biological father was out of my life. My ex-husband was supportive of me but would never raise this baby for me or with me. My plans were very incomplete for raising my child.
I wrote five letters but didn’t have stamps so my weekend-time roommate mailed my letters to agencies in which I outlined my situation, what I needed and how to contact me. Miriam’s Promise was the first and only one to visit me in person and that made an immediate impression. It told me I would be treated with respect and without prejudice due to my incarceration. I wanted someone who would treat me like a person.
My counselor, Lee-Ann walked with me through the decision-making process, and never once denied me the option of parenting and helped me look at all the ways that could happen. She did all she could to deliver the same type of services to me she would to any other client. She made sure I finally got the medical care I needed, was with me in the hospital and helped to make sure I could deliver like anyone else, without being chained or shackled.
I now get pictures and letters from Ike and Vicki, the adoptive family. I also have the peace of mind that my decision was and always will be honored and that I am not alone.
Jail is a lonely place, hopeless and anonymous. This type of service replaces those feelings with someone to care about you and your situation, replaces it with hope and being seen for who you are, not for the crime you committed or are accused of.
I want to say how much I appreciate the respect and dignity I have been shown from Miriam’s Promise and Lee-Ann. I haven’t got that from many people since being here in jail; not to say I expected different treatment because of the baby. I am in jail for a reason.
I want to share that I am proud of myself for not taking the easiest path in spite of my need not to hurt. My baby needed more than a temporary foster home and time spent waiting for me. Miriam’s Promise was there for me when no one else was. Lee-Ann responded to my letter. She visited me and really listened to me. Miriam’s Promise met many of my material needs. Lee-Ann was able to be right there with me in the hospital and has continued to stay in touch and to visit. She’s held on to my personal belongings for me, especially the keepsakes from the hospital and the gifts from Ike and Vicki, my son’s mom and dad.
In the future, I want to become involved with Miriam’s Promise as a mentor for other pregnant inmates. I know it made a real difference for me and in how I handled my decision to place my son. Lee-Ann continues to make a difference since then and to be a link to the world but especially to my son.
I have every confidence that Miriam’s Promise and the adoptive family will keep their promises to me; promises for openness and for honesty in the exchange of information and for ongoing services I may need.
Eliza Mae--An Adoptive Parents’ Story
As I sit down to try and put into words how the miracle of adoption has touched our family, I wonder where to begin. My seven month old daughter, Eliza Mae, is rolling around on the floor at this moment, babbling incessantly and pulling at her little toes. She has a head full of dark hair, and her giggles are contagious. Though she has been in our arms just over three months now, she was in our hearts before she was even conceived in her birth mother’s womb in Vietnam.
My husband and I were married in May of 2002, and we had our first child in December of 2004. When he was around seven months old, we decided to try and become pregnant again. However, it wasn’t long until thoughts of adoption began rattling around in our minds.
Each family comes to its decision to adopt in a different way. For some, it follows on the painful heels of infertility. Others make the choice to fulfill a lifelong dream. And, for other families, including ours, it is an act of faith and a willingness to watch God unfold a beautiful plan. So it was that a few months into our efforts to become pregnant, we decided to put things on hold, and see what God might have in store.
At this time we began researching adoption. We also began praying about this decision, and on Valentine’s Day of 2006, we officially began our adoption “journey.” We chose an agency that is out of state, so we contacted Miriam’s Promise in Nashville to conduct our home study. After it was completed, along with the mounds of other forms required for an international adoption, our paperwork was submitted to Vietnam and the long wait began.
There were days, weeks, and months when it felt like the phone call would never arrive. I have thought many times about this wait. I so wanted to get to the end of it and not look back with regret. I wanted God to find me faithful in the waiting, and not constantly impatient. There were times of failure in this area, for sure, but I never lost faith in the belief that He was in control. For every tear that I cried waiting and praying for Eliza to get here, I was never able to escape a deep-down knowing that He had already foreseen every detail of the “timeline” of her life (*Psalm 139).
Finally, on September 27th, 2007, our agency called to tell us that our daughter was waiting for us in the Nam Dinh Province of northern Vietnam. One month later we boarded a plane. We sometimes call Eliza our holiday baby, because she was placed in our arms for the very first time on Halloween, and we arrived back home in Nashville early on Thanksgiving morning.
Adoption has added new dimensions to our family’s life, love, and faith. It is clear to us now that there was always a space meant just for Eliza. Watching her eyes dance as she plays, we know she is truly home.
*If you would like to read more about our travels to bring Eliza home, please visit our blog at http://www.lovetoelly.blogspot.com/
Older Child Adoptions
By Allison Balthrop, MSSW
In the last 5 years Miriam’s Promise has placed 18 “older children” in adoptive homes. These children’s ages range from 2 to 13 years of age. (Older child adoption is defined as the placement for adoption of a child over the age of 12 months.) Additionally Miriam’s Promise assisted in the independent adoption of 14 older children whose ages ranged from 14 months to 14 years.
Recognizing the importance of preparing our families for the unique challenges of raising older adopted children, in 2006 Miriam’s Promise expanded the education curriculum offered to our clients. However, before new curriculums could be designed it was necessary for staff to receive intensive training in such areas as attachment and child development. (Staff training opportunities were made possible in large part because of the generous donations made by members of our board.)
Miriam’s Promise offers extensive educational opportunities to adoptive and prospective adoptive families each year. Our attachment training program begins with a 4 week seminar on “Rebuilding Attachment in Traumatized Children” followed by bi-monthly support group meetings. Topics covered in these groups include: helping children cope with separation and loss, positive discipline, anger management, and specific interventions to promote attachment. Furthermore, the groups provide parents an opportunity not only to gain insight and support from trained staff but also to learn from the experiences of their peers. Simply being part of a group of parents who truly understand the challenges they face is therapeutic for the participants.
Counseling services are another important part of our Older Child Adoption Program. Individual and family counseling is offered to children and their families who need intensive therapy to build attachment. Fees for this service are based on a sliding scale in an effort to make the services available to all who are in need. Typically the adults are seen for an intake/assessment interview. During that interview it will be determined whether the child will be seen individually or with the parents. Play therapy is the primary intervention used with young children.
The staff at Miriam’s Promise is always committed to providing the best services to all clients, but especially to the most vulnerable of our clients, the older adopted child. Although we are a non-profit agency and resources are limited, no effort is spared to ensure that staff is well trained and capable of delivering the highest quality services possible.
International Adoptions
By Kim Warner Hudy, MSSW
Today, more and more families who come to adoption feel that their child is waiting for them overseas or may already have a special connection to a specific foreign country. Miriam’s Promise has been pleased to assist these families who choose to adopt internationally.
Caseworkers meet with prospective adoptive families to discuss the adoption and home study process. While there are many countries to choose from when adopting internationally, we also assist families in exploring their options for the best fit. Miriam’s Promise provides home study and post placement services to families in middle Tennessee. While we are pleased to have partner agencies that we work with for the actual referral and placement of a child, a family is not limited to only these agencies and has the option to work with any placing agency. We are also proud to be a member of the Joint Council on International Children’s Services aka JCICS which holds its members to higher ethical and educational standards than other adoption agencies.
Ayana, one of a growing number of children adopted internationally
Miriam’s Promise was proud to be the first adoption agency in our service area that implemented home study education and training for prospective adoptive parents. This training component occurs in a group setting and is a critical part of understanding the adoption process in order to fully prepare to welcome a child into their hearts and homes. The twelve hour course is offered over the course of a few weeks and covers such topics as the history of adoption, the adoption triad, potential attachment issues, transracial, and transcultural issues, adjustment, diversity, grief and loss and developmental issues to meet a child’s needs. Families also have the opportunity to meet with a family who has recently adopted as well as an international adult adoptee. It is a wonderful way for our clients to meet other families who are also adopting and form support systems from the very beginning of the adoption process.
Over the years we have placed children of all ages and races that include children with both medical needs and children who are considered to be healthy infants in their respective countries. Our caseworkers continue to support our clients throughout their adoption process and beyond the required supervisory reports after placement occurs. We are happy to assist when questions or concerns arise and enjoy hearing from our families year after year as adoption is not just a one-time event but a lifelong process. Many of our adoptive families come back to us for assistance in completing a second adoption. Some of our highest compliments come from clients who tell us their friends worked with us when they were adopting. What a wonderful gift to be a small part of building families for life.
Kevin, Laura and Anastasia-An International Love Story
Once upon a time there was a baby girl born in a Russian prison. Her name was Anastasia. With her birth mother, Anastasia spent the first three years of her life virtually in solitary confinement. Upon her mother’s release, she was abandoned at a Russian orphanage. At age 6, Ana came to the United States through adoption by a New Jersey family who were unprepared for the challenges of raising a child dealing with attachment issues and cultural changes. After 3 months, the New Jersey family told Ana she was going to a temporary “camp” when in reality she was sent to a permanent residential facility. Anastasia was abandoned for a second time.
Meanwhile, Kevin and Laura, a Tennessee couple who wanted to adopt, met Ana at the residential facility. Immediately captivated by the child, Kevin and Laura opened their hearts and began the process of bringing Anastasia to Tennessee and adopting her. Anastasia is now eight years old and continues to adjust to her new family. Through Miriam’s Promise, Kevin and Laura received adoption assistance funding and now participate in ongoing therapy to aid in attachment and adjustment for the entire family.
Pasta & Promises 2008 to Benefit Miriam’s Promise
Art pieces by well-known regional artists are available for sale at Pasta & Promises
You are invited to Pasta & Promises, the annual fundraising dinner and art show benefiting Miriam’s Promise on Friday night, March 28, 2008 at 6:00 pm at the Factory in Franklin. This annual event supports the pregnancy, parenting and adoption services provided by Miriam’s Promise, a not-for-profit agency affiliated with the Tennessee Conference of the United Methodist Church. Pasta & Promises 2008 will again feature the very popular live and silent auction of original pieces by regional artists along with a delicious pasta dinner. Individual tickets are $100, or gather several friends together and reserve a table for eight for just $600. If your company would like to support the event as a sponsor, contact Miriam’s Promise for details on corporate sponsorship opportunities. Last year’s event drew over 400 people, so make your reservation now and don’t miss Pasta & Promises. Contact Miriam’s Promise at (615) 292-3500.
Adoptive Parents Story
They were only given 48 hours to prepare for their son’s homecoming. A birthmother had chosen them as adoptive parents for her two day old son and wanted to meet them as soon as possible. They met her for the first time at her apartment and were introduced to their son that was cradled in her arms. She did not hesitate as she talked over how she’d been so uncomfortable with her decision to place in an independent/private adoption that she’d called her counselor and asked to see families waiting to adopt through Miriam’s Promise. She met them on Sunday and Monday afternoon, they brought their son home. The trust and respect they had for her helped bridge the fear and sadness she felt as she looked for a family to love her child as she did. This is how they describe their experience today:
I don’t just think of our son’s birthmother as just a “birthmother”. She is so much more than that. She is a very brave woman who made the ultimate sacrifice for her son. Her family turned against her during the time she needed them the most. She stood firm and went through probably one of the toughest times in her life by herself. They did not support her in the decision she made and still do not have anything to do with her 5 years later. She was dealt a “bad hand” in life, but tries to make the best out of life that she knows how.
I do know that she still hurts and I wish I could do something to make the pain go away, but all I can do is pray and ask God to bless her life in a special way since she blessed our family with our precious son. She gave me hope in life when I thought there was no hope and the joy that comes from hearing the words “momma” and the sounds of “pitter patter” feet dancing around the house. She allowed me to experience an unconditional love that you can only experience with a child. I am so thankful that God put her in our lives. She doesn’t call much or come by to visit, but Sam knows who she is because he prays for her every night.
I want to close with a blessing: “The Lord bless you and keep you; the Lord make his face to shine upon you, and be gracious to you; the Lord lift His countenance upon you and give you peace.” Numbers 6:24-26
Transracial Adoptions
Gracie, a transracial adoption, enjoys the annual Miriam’s Promise Fall Picnic
Many of the adoptive placements made by Miriam’s Promise are transracial in nature. This means the adoptive parents are adopting a child of a race different from their own. These placements offer unique challenges to the families involved. It is essential that families acknowledge that they will be a minority family after placement. Miriam’s Promise is committed to providing the education and preparation needed to make these adoptions successful. We recognize that it is critical that families begin to make the necessary lifestyle changes before the child is placed rather than waiting until a crisis occurs after placement. A primary goal of transracial groups at Miriam’s Promise is for individuals to evaluate their strengths and limitations as transracially-adopting parents. Some of the issues that are addressed include: demographics of the neighborhood, racial makeup of the schools, church, and social groups the child will be immersed in, extended family acceptance, opportunities for same-race mentors, and for opportunities for interacting with other multi-racial families. Additionally, transracial training groups are designed to provide ongoing support and education for the families involved. There is no participation fee for this service.
Sponsor a Therapy Session
Justin is an eleven -year -old who is being raised by his grandmother who is struggling financially and her health is declining. Last year, Justin’s twin siblings were placed for adoption by their birth mother through Miriam’s Promise. Justin has suffered many losses. Due to his grandmother’s poor health, an adoption plan will also need to be made for Justin. Justin is in need of intensive therapy which his grandmother cannot afford. Please consider giving a therapy session for a child like Justin by donating to Miriam’s Promise. One half-hour session is $25, and a one-hour session is $50.
Therapeutic Supplies Needed
Anastasia was adopted from Russia after spending the first three years of her life with her birth mother in virtual isolation in prison. She was abandoned upon her mother’s release, adopted, and then placed in a residential facility by an adoptive family that could not handle her special needs. Many older children like Anastasia have experienced tremendous grief and loss, abuse and neglect. Miriam’s Promise has set up a room specifically for therapy with these children. This room provides a safe place for children to work on grief, anger, sadness, loss, attachment and preparation for adoption. Many therapeutic supplies such as books, art supplies, puppets, and therapeutic games are needed to effectively work with these children. Please consider making a donation for therapeutic supplies to help children like Anastasia get the most out of their therapy. For more information, contact Miriam’s Promise at 615 -292-3500.
Training and Education are Keys to Successful Adoption
As the world of adoption continues to evolve and change, Miriam’s Promise strives to fully prepare families for the challenges of adoptive parenting. Preparation and education have long been a component in the programs offered by this agency. The domestic infant adoption program requires that prospective parents participate in six weeks of classes that explore issues such as infertility, needs of adopted children and open relationships with birth parents. Ongoing bi-monthly support groups are offered to those in this program as they wait for the placement of a child. In addition, a seminar is conducted annually for extended family members of parents waiting for a child.
Similar training and education is required in the agency’s international program. Couples and individuals who are adopting children from other countries participate in a twelve-hour course designed to prepare them for the needs of a child whose world will change when they join their family and become a United States citizen.
Recently, as the needs of Miriam’s Promise families have become evident, specialized seminars have been developed and support groups facilitated for families of children with attachment issues. Attachment issues are common in children who have been traumatized and neglected. The parents of the se children are taught tools to help the children learn to trust adult figures and depend on them for their needs.
Eric and Lisa are adoptive parents who have participated in the special ministry of Miriam’s Promise.
The agency helps to facilitate other support groups that serve its clients as well as others in the community. These support groups include one for birth parents, one for families who adopt transracially and one for single international adoptive parents. In response to the numerous events, seminars, support groups and trainings, Miriam’s Promise has designated a new staff position to coordinate these efforts.
The pregnancy counseling program of Miriam’s Promise has also evolved in its approach to education and training. The Elizabeth Project, a mentoring program for pregnant young women, strives to encourage a healthy pregnancy and healthy baby. From that base, a new program, Expecting the Best, has been developed. This program serves women in the Davidson County Jail who are pregnant and greatly in need of education, preparation and support regarding their pregnancy and their role as a new mother.
The staff of Miriam’s Promise recognizes that all parents can benefit from the training and educational services the agency provides no matter the circumstances of their home and the level of their income. The goal is to see children thriving and happy in their “forever” families.
Birth Mother’s Day Celebration
Birth Mother’s Day is a day to honor and remember the motherhood experience of birth mothers, the women who placed their children for adoption. It is held on the second Saturday in May and observed with a public ceremony.
Birth Mother’s Day was created in 1990 by a group of Seattle, Washington, birth mothers who met each other at a birth parent support group. It grew out of the shared recognition that Mother’s Day is one of the most painful days of the year – second only to the birthday of their absent children. Yet birth mothers have been shut out of the traditional celebration and remembrances of the holiday. For most birth mothers there are no cards or flowers. Society treats the motherhood of the birth mother as a momentary event that fades quickly from the collective memory.
Miriam’s Promise started the Birth Mother’s Celebration several years ago, sharing it with the community. This will be the 10th annual birth mother’s day celebration that IAC, the Inter-Agency Adoption Coalition, will be sponsoring. We are currently in the planning process and will have more details available soon. For more information please contact Anne Byrn Floyd at 615-292-3500.
Golf and Walk Challenge for Miriam’s Promise
Thanks to the generosity and dedication of all the friends and supporters of Miriam's Promise, the 8th annual Golf and Walk Challenge held September 24, 2007, raised $121,587 in pledges to benefit the programs and services of the agency!
L to R—Mary Cooper, Michael Williams, and Betty Alexander volunteer at the 2007 Golf and Walk Challenge
Fun and friendly competition was on the agenda as 119 golfers and 42 walkers converged on Old Natchez Country Club in Franklin, Tennessee, to support the work of Miriam's Promise. The 4.2 mile walk challenge was a new feature for the event and the dedicated walkers raised over $19,700 in pledges! Walk event chair Nikki Hightower is already planning to make the walk challenge an even bigger part of this annual event.
The golf scramble event attracted over 30 teams, each pledging an average of $4,000 in sponsor donations for Miriam's Promise. Golfers enjoyed free clinics, lunch from the grill and plenty of fellowship and friendly competition. Prizes were awarded for the longest drive, closest to the pin, and best team score. Many thanks to our tireless volunteer event co-chairs Mary Cooper and B.J. Brack, Jr. for all their hard work.
The 2008 Golf and Walk Challenge for Miriam’s Promise will be held September 29 at Old Natchez Country Club in Franklin, Tennessee. For information on participating as a walker, golfer, or sponsor, please contact Miriam’s Promise at 615-292-3500.
How You Can Help Miriam’s Promise
Children’s games at the annual Miriam’s Promise Fall Picnic. Special thanks to Girl Scout Troop #417 for providing games and activities at the picnic.I don’t just think of our son’s birthmother as just a “birthmother”. She is so much more than that. She is a very brave woman who made the ultimate sacrifice for her son. Her family turned against her during the time she needed them the most. She stood firm and went through probably one of the toughest times in her life by herself. They did not support her in the decision she made and still do not have anything to do with her 5 years later. She was dealt a “bad hand” in life, but tries to make the best out of life that she knows how.
I do know that she still hurts and I wish I could do something to make the pain go away, but all I can do is pray and ask God to bless her life in a special way since she blessed our family with our precious son. She gave me hope in life when I thought there was no hope and the joy that comes from hearing the words “momma” and the sounds of “pitter patter” feet dancing around the house. She allowed me to experience an unconditional love that you can only experience with a child. I am so thankful that God put her in our lives. She doesn’t call much or come by to visit, but Sam knows who she is because he prays for her every night.
I want to close with a blessing: “The Lord bless you and keep you; the Lord make his face to shine upon you, and be gracious to you; the Lord lift His countenance upon you and give you peace.” Numbers 6:24-26
Transracial Adoptions
Gracie, a transracial adoption, enjoys the annual Miriam’s Promise Fall Picnic
Many of the adoptive placements made by Miriam’s Promise are transracial in nature. This means the adoptive parents are adopting a child of a race different from their own. These placements offer unique challenges to the families involved. It is essential that families acknowledge that they will be a minority family after placement. Miriam’s Promise is committed to providing the education and preparation needed to make these adoptions successful. We recognize that it is critical that families begin to make the necessary lifestyle changes before the child is placed rather than waiting until a crisis occurs after placement. A primary goal of transracial groups at Miriam’s Promise is for individuals to evaluate their strengths and limitations as transracially-adopting parents. Some of the issues that are addressed include: demographics of the neighborhood, racial makeup of the schools, church, and social groups the child will be immersed in, extended family acceptance, opportunities for same-race mentors, and for opportunities for interacting with other multi-racial families. Additionally, transracial training groups are designed to provide ongoing support and education for the families involved. There is no participation fee for this service.
Sponsor a Therapy Session
Justin is an eleven -year -old who is being raised by his grandmother who is struggling financially and her health is declining. Last year, Justin’s twin siblings were placed for adoption by their birth mother through Miriam’s Promise. Justin has suffered many losses. Due to his grandmother’s poor health, an adoption plan will also need to be made for Justin. Justin is in need of intensive therapy which his grandmother cannot afford. Please consider giving a therapy session for a child like Justin by donating to Miriam’s Promise. One half-hour session is $25, and a one-hour session is $50.
Therapeutic Supplies Needed
Anastasia was adopted from Russia after spending the first three years of her life with her birth mother in virtual isolation in prison. She was abandoned upon her mother’s release, adopted, and then placed in a residential facility by an adoptive family that could not handle her special needs. Many older children like Anastasia have experienced tremendous grief and loss, abuse and neglect. Miriam’s Promise has set up a room specifically for therapy with these children. This room provides a safe place for children to work on grief, anger, sadness, loss, attachment and preparation for adoption. Many therapeutic supplies such as books, art supplies, puppets, and therapeutic games are needed to effectively work with these children. Please consider making a donation for therapeutic supplies to help children like Anastasia get the most out of their therapy. For more information, contact Miriam’s Promise at 615 -292-3500.
Training and Education are Keys to Successful Adoption
As the world of adoption continues to evolve and change, Miriam’s Promise strives to fully prepare families for the challenges of adoptive parenting. Preparation and education have long been a component in the programs offered by this agency. The domestic infant adoption program requires that prospective parents participate in six weeks of classes that explore issues such as infertility, needs of adopted children and open relationships with birth parents. Ongoing bi-monthly support groups are offered to those in this program as they wait for the placement of a child. In addition, a seminar is conducted annually for extended family members of parents waiting for a child.
Similar training and education is required in the agency’s international program. Couples and individuals who are adopting children from other countries participate in a twelve-hour course designed to prepare them for the needs of a child whose world will change when they join their family and become a United States citizen.
Recently, as the needs of Miriam’s Promise families have become evident, specialized seminars have been developed and support groups facilitated for families of children with attachment issues. Attachment issues are common in children who have been traumatized and neglected. The parents of the se children are taught tools to help the children learn to trust adult figures and depend on them for their needs.
Eric and Lisa are adoptive parents who have participated in the special ministry of Miriam’s Promise.
The agency helps to facilitate other support groups that serve its clients as well as others in the community. These support groups include one for birth parents, one for families who adopt transracially and one for single international adoptive parents. In response to the numerous events, seminars, support groups and trainings, Miriam’s Promise has designated a new staff position to coordinate these efforts.
The pregnancy counseling program of Miriam’s Promise has also evolved in its approach to education and training. The Elizabeth Project, a mentoring program for pregnant young women, strives to encourage a healthy pregnancy and healthy baby. From that base, a new program, Expecting the Best, has been developed. This program serves women in the Davidson County Jail who are pregnant and greatly in need of education, preparation and support regarding their pregnancy and their role as a new mother.
The staff of Miriam’s Promise recognizes that all parents can benefit from the training and educational services the agency provides no matter the circumstances of their home and the level of their income. The goal is to see children thriving and happy in their “forever” families.
Birth Mother’s Day Celebration
Birth Mother’s Day is a day to honor and remember the motherhood experience of birth mothers, the women who placed their children for adoption. It is held on the second Saturday in May and observed with a public ceremony.
Birth Mother’s Day was created in 1990 by a group of Seattle, Washington, birth mothers who met each other at a birth parent support group. It grew out of the shared recognition that Mother’s Day is one of the most painful days of the year – second only to the birthday of their absent children. Yet birth mothers have been shut out of the traditional celebration and remembrances of the holiday. For most birth mothers there are no cards or flowers. Society treats the motherhood of the birth mother as a momentary event that fades quickly from the collective memory.
Miriam’s Promise started the Birth Mother’s Celebration several years ago, sharing it with the community. This will be the 10th annual birth mother’s day celebration that IAC, the Inter-Agency Adoption Coalition, will be sponsoring. We are currently in the planning process and will have more details available soon. For more information please contact Anne Byrn Floyd at 615-292-3500.
Golf and Walk Challenge for Miriam’s Promise
Thanks to the generosity and dedication of all the friends and supporters of Miriam's Promise, the 8th annual Golf and Walk Challenge held September 24, 2007, raised $121,587 in pledges to benefit the programs and services of the agency!
L to R—Mary Cooper, Michael Williams, and Betty Alexander volunteer at the 2007 Golf and Walk Challenge
Fun and friendly competition was on the agenda as 119 golfers and 42 walkers converged on Old Natchez Country Club in Franklin, Tennessee, to support the work of Miriam's Promise. The 4.2 mile walk challenge was a new feature for the event and the dedicated walkers raised over $19,700 in pledges! Walk event chair Nikki Hightower is already planning to make the walk challenge an even bigger part of this annual event.
The golf scramble event attracted over 30 teams, each pledging an average of $4,000 in sponsor donations for Miriam's Promise. Golfers enjoyed free clinics, lunch from the grill and plenty of fellowship and friendly competition. Prizes were awarded for the longest drive, closest to the pin, and best team score. Many thanks to our tireless volunteer event co-chairs Mary Cooper and B.J. Brack, Jr. for all their hard work.
The 2008 Golf and Walk Challenge for Miriam’s Promise will be held September 29 at Old Natchez Country Club in Franklin, Tennessee. For information on participating as a walker, golfer, or sponsor, please contact Miriam’s Promise at 615-292-3500.
How You Can Help Miriam’s Promise
Miriam’s Promise continues to be blessed with many wonderful volunteers who give their time, talents, and gifts to the agency. Many United Methodist congregations designate Communion offerings and special collections for the work of Miriam’s Promise in Middle Tennessee. A monetary donation of any amount would assist in purchasing necessary tools for our work with children.
Many United Methodists offer the gift of their service to Miriam’s Promise. Recently, a group of Girl Scouts from a Franklin church refurbished the children’s area in our office with a new television and toys and provided games and activities at our annual picnic. Many churches make winter hats and scarves for our clients, and several United Methodists volunteer in our offices regularly.
Miriam’s Promise is always in need of the following items. Please call 615-292-3500 with questions.
Biggest Needs:
.Kroger and Wal-Mart gift cards, Gas cards, ($5, $10, $25) for our birthmothers
.Diapers and wipes - Newborn to size 4
.Certificates to Book stores (i.e., Barnes & Noble) to order educational material
.Disposable cameras
Infant Needs:
.Crib Sheets / Blankets
.Baby formula/bottles or gift cards to purchase as needed
.Baby toiletries
.Baby clothing – size Premie to 24 months